So I have not been writing. Been a bad month, six months. I have been feeling very content in my life maybe too content. My husband and I were talking about having another baby, thing had been very good, then yesterday he tells me "I do not want to have another baby because I am not sure I want to stay with you" He proceeds to tell me what a bad person I am, how I am mean, how I am always talking bad about his family and he is thinking of moving up Northern NY to be close to his mother. WHAT THE FUCK! 

So that is that. Apparently I have to sell my house, that I just bought and refinanced at a great rate, and move in with my mom, because he needs to change is life. He makes like 3x as much as I do and had to move us into this house i cant afford just a year ago.  I am sick  and scared. I dont know what to do with my child or my home. We have been together 13 years, and he says he just does not like me. I have no words for this shit... no words. Any suggestions.... Anybody want to make a donation?

Disorganized Thoughts

I received some feedback on the blog today, which right on time, because I have been feeling like i should perhaps do some things worth writing about. So I have been in hiding for a long time, or so it seems to me. I have only been seeing D. Sadly enough when he came over the other night I could not even feel connected with him. Very Concerning. As I have gotten older, I have really gotten to understand that sex is better in a different way when you really care about the other person. The connection of someone can be good, and has been for awhile.  I am kinda of rambling but bear with me here. He got here, and he looked good, but I was a little bothered that the baby was asleep and he was not able to visit with her, and then for the love of christ if he has to turn soccer on one more time... although I prefer soccer to WWE Events he makes me watch in between fucking. I said to a friend of mine the other day, he is like a fantasy of mine. Somedays it is hard to believe that he is real, and I really had his baby, and this is really my life The other night he was just a man to me... not this All Knowing God as I usually think him to be. Delusions are Fabulous sometimes.  We started fucking and I was just disinterested at best. I guess  I needed something more I dont know. Of course he had to fuck my ass. And he has been doing that for god at least 4 years now if not more, and he still will not listen to me when I say "Give me just a second" Seriously just give me one second to relax my body and I will be in the zone with you, and we can both cum while you fuck my ass. But no he just does everything at his speed. Frustrating!!! I started to feel more connected with him as we laid in bed watching a movie, what we do all the time now. I really feel like we are married sometimes, and i dont mean that in a good way.

Feels good to vent again. Feedback was asking me about age play... honestly I dont even truley know what that is. I have some positive responses to being treated like a little girl, but I have not had a lot of experience with that. 

Send me some inspirational comments so I can post more.

OMG YES YES YES FUCK MY ASS

I know it has been a long time. I have been mentally unable to think of really anything focused enough to write. Work has been really really hard for me in the last 6 months. I lying, imcompentent supervisor coupled with semi retarded co workers has left be completely empty at the end of the week. Thank god I will be beginning a new job in a new department in one week. And I already am beginning to feel a sense of calm and peace. And with that I have found some energy and desire I have not had in several months. Christ I feel like I am creeping back into my life. I did not realize the impact on my mental health to spend 40 hours a week with people who constant back stab, bicker, and gossip. 

I went to see D last night. I drove up to see him and I was pretty excited about that alone time in the car. I did not even talk on the phone  like I usually do. I just soaked up the quiet solitude. We get into the room, and being that it is 8 degrees outside the room was cold. We had to do be very close to stay warm, I needed extra contact anyway. We got there and aside from the usually niceties he pulled that giant dick out and I started sucking it. I missed it so much. I was sucking it very well, I can hear him groaning and I was into it, grabbing his ass to thrust his dick further in my mouth while he was fucking my mouth, rubbing his dick all over my face and slobbering all over it. My pussy was throbbing and ready for the dick, as it I had been fucking myself all week. He started to finger fuck me and sometimes I like that more than dick, and he began this intense attack on my clit. He moved my body and spread my legs in front of him, but instead of my pussy he went right for my ass. Which I hate because the really good throbbing hard dick I want in my pussy. Even know he can stay hard all night and come continuously, there is something special about that first hard dick. 

I began my usually " not yet, not yet" campaign and he did his usually complete ignoring me and manipulating my body to get the best angle on that ass. He started very slowing and i was not loving it but like a switch I took a deep breath and I was in love with it. I moved my legs up to rest on his shoulders and asked him to push it all it. He was reluctant, and I said again "put it all in", he finally did and i began to fuck his giant dick while he was in awe about how thrilled I was about getting my ass fucked, and fucking his dick with my ass. While I was fucking him, I began to have an orgasm. Like one of the most intense orgasms I have had in a long time if ever.  It began in my cunt and it began to wave throughout my body. Like and earthquake, it was more of a full body orgasm then just one that stays pretty localized. And he was so excited of the image of me comming from his dick in my ass. We continued to fuck some more and it was all fucking wonderful. I just had to tell you all about the first orgasm. 

 

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