I was feeling so damm horny today. It just hit me like OMG I NEED IT NOW. I hate that feeling. Like an asthmatic needing their inhaler - that is what it feels like. Even when I do fuck when I feel like that, I cant even think I am just like "put it in now" and I have to say sadly not too many people can quench my thirst. Even D, on his best day could not satisfy me when I feel like this. He would leave after hours of fucking, and as he got dressed I was in the bed with my Magic Wand. I do mean hours - we would fuck non stop for hours.
So I was alone with myself and this feeling, I did make some calls. Nothing worked out, it was either had to wait til midnight or only had 20 mins, or no place to go. UGH you see what I am saying. I need a live in man who can do the household stuff like take out the trash and fuck me, Fair deal for sure. Before I had my daughter I was seriously campaigning with my husband to let me have my live in big black island man with dreads, I did not win that fight though. I think he thought is was cute that I even tried.
So in my travels I got my car washed, bought some new underwear, talked on the phone in the silence of my car ( that was blissful) and rounded back home feeling much better and more patient. But I got big plans for this weekend.
I think that this is my frustration whenever I feel like this no one can accommodate, and that is where I need to change. I tend to just forget people when I am not in the mood. Then they get pissy with me when I want them now, and when they needed me I was like "nah". Dominate men help with that, because your reason for doing is more then sex, it is about the submission, and if I cant get out of the house for sex, I can do it sometimes for the pleasure about submission to my dom and pleasure of giving them what they need. Or them knowing sometimes more then I do what I need.
So some of that is me not fighting for my time. I tend to live and breath only for my daughter. And I know it is good to put your children first, but I feel like I dont even come second or third or anywhere.
Shit I should have went back out, 12:20 I cant sleep and feel like I could run some laps around the house. Family trip tomorrow, looking forward to it. Still missing D - he never called. Trying to re-evaluate what I think about this - dont know yet.