I feel like it has been so long that I am not even sure the pseudonyms I used to identify all the men in my life. I do remember all of the men though. And I think of them from time to time.I do remember a few though nick names. D. There is D. Gosh in 2013 I think I had not seen D in awhile. He ended up being out of my life for almost 5 years. He called me twice in that 5 years and both times I was firm I was not interested. Then he called a third time. JF was out of town and I was trying to keep our conversation focused and platonic. At first when I spoke to him I talked about being upset with him for being gone. He listened. And we had a few more conversations before I agreed to meet him. I only agreed to meet him to talk. And that is all we did is talk. I remember I was wearing a summery floral dress and I felt really awkward as I was a few months pregnant at the time with my 3rd child. We met at a truck stop we both knew as it was the half-way point from him in North Jersey and me in South Jersey. He just slipped in the car like he had so many times before. I still had the same car. At first I could not even look at him. I was overwhelmed in so many ways it was as if not a day had past between us. However time had moved on and I saw in his face and his hair. He looked older. He had some gray hair. He had put on some weight. It was the first time I have ever looked at him and realized his mortality. When I met him when I was in my early twenties and he just was this all knowing powerful man who in my mind could never be anything but that. In this moment I saw that he was not immune to time and even all mighty D. We talked. We talked a lot about my feelings and a little about his. We spent about three hours talking and then we left and headed back to our lives.

I have been feeling like I want to go back to the blog lately. I quickly logged in and saw that my last post was in 2013! I am astounded that it has been so long since the blog has been a part of my life and yet I am still drawn back to it. A update post will come soon with all the details. In the meantime...is anyone still reading?