I spent most of my afternoon, like a good hour and a half on my couch day dreaming. I am days away from getting my period and my body always ramps itself from the hormonal shifts. This is by far the best time to play, to fuck, to experiment. My pain tolerance is higher, my libido is stronger my freak factor increase dramatically. Things I would not usually be into I am suddenly like....ok. If I ever am to get back in to "the lifestyle" I will pay much more attention to my hormonal shifts. When D and I fuck at this time it is mind blowing. I try to schedule it this time but sometimes it is not always possible. Im like to different people throughout my cycle. Right after my period I can not take the dick at all. It always hurts and I whine a lot. But the sweet spot after ovulation I feel like a porn star. I can do so many things. And today as I sit at home in this pandemic fun-less summer I am not able to act on these feelings but I was able to amuse my mind and my body with detailed day dreams complete with memorable sensations. This is how the day dream goes ....
D and I are in our motel room, I am wearing a dress. He pushes me towards the bed and kisses on my lips quickly then longer kiss on my neck while his hand creeps up my dress and pushes my panties aside. His fingers are in me as he whispers shit into my ear. Things like "Can you do this for Daddy"? and Daddy wants you to... and you are such a good girl. He has a friend coming he tells me and that is all he says before he spreads my legs apart and slowly slowly slowly pushes himself inside. I try to ask questions but I can't complete a sentence in between the thrusts so I let it go and just enjoy the dick. Just as I begin to forget about it I hear the knock at the door. Instinctually I try to cover up but there is nothing on the bed. I just lay there as he tells me to and wait.
Enter the friend a dark island man with dreads and an accent I can't really understand. D and him talk about fucking me and D invites him to do as he wishes with me. D then shoots his eyes back to me and reassure me everything is ok. This stranger unzips his pants and within seconds his dick is in my mouth. His dick is as big as D and D is touching me and reassuring me as suck his dick. This stranger moves down the bed and I close my legs. I look to D in distress and I mouth the word condom to him. D whispers to me that is is ok, his hot breath on my neck makes me quiver but I persist " We need a condom" with my legs closed. The strangers goes to part my knees but I squirm. D moves with out hesitation as he spreads my legs with a force I was not accustomed to and the stranger enters my body, unprotected. I fight a little and as they both hold me down I give in and let this dark man fuck me without a condom.
As he finishes with me D gives me no break. I lay there still recovering from orgasm and D slides up right behind me, his dick hard and ready to fuck my ass. He touches me so gently and moves my body right where he needs it to be. He tells me we are going to do double penetration tonight and I get excited. This is something I have-not been able to check on my list. I like the way D is holding me. He is letting me guide the anal and letting me get comfortable with it as he touches me in a very loving way. He calls to the stranger to come over and as I lay on my side this stranger straddles my leg and slowly pushes his dick in to my body. I can only really imagine what this feels like, since I have never experienced it before. But I imagine a fullness sensation as I instantly start to orgasm as he moves is dick in me. I imagine I continue to orgasm almost non stop for several minutes until I am full stretched and then we find a rhythm to fuck to.
After that is over the stranger sits next to me on the edge of the bed. I lay on the bed sore and sweaty, hair tangled cover in cum. D lays next to me. The stranger starts to finger me. I think to myself that I have had enough but I am almost instantly consumed with the way his fingers and stretching me and I just let him continue. Before I know it he slips his whole fist in my cunt and I sit up in ecstasy. As always do, I need to touch the person in my body. It is a very intimate experience for me. I reach up and grab him and he kisses my neck and sucks my nipples as I continue to cum. He slowly teases his fist in and out before finally slipping it out of my body. My body feels used. I am sore and stretched. My nipples are marked from sucking and I lay there knowing D will want to fuck me again when this guy leaves.
Saturday, June 27, 2020
Saturday, June 20, 2020
Dapravity
I was watching this documentary series and in it is a a scene of hundreds of black men from some African nation and all I can think of is how I would like to be used by this group of men. There was a time in my life where these thoughts left me, but they are back. For so many years I felt so contented and so satisfied but like all of a sudden I can not keep this wave of deranged intense sexual thoughts from getting in my head. It is like all of a sudden the rape scene fantasies have come back to me.
When I first starting see D again after he was gone for a few years we first met at my house. He came in and almost instantly he put his hands on me and starting kissing my neck and undressing me. I can even remember the very place he put me on my knees and pushed his dick in my mouth. In my dining room right next the table where my family eats all of its meals he pushed me to the ground and climbed on top of me. I held my legs together with a pitiful plea to use a condom. I really wanted him to where a condom. I was 5 months pregnant and I had not seen him in like 4 years. But I remember the struggle and I fought and lost and he pressed himself into my body and I relaxed into it. I wanted him to own me. Oh how I needed to be taken.
And it is all back all the scary thoughts of a random stranger coming to fuck me. I do miss the strange dick. They all feel so different, which always surprises me. You would think at some point that it would all create the same sensation but no. I guess in the same way all women feel different.....
JF and I continue to move away from each other. In a perfect world I just want him to be in my life to raise these kids and have D sleep with me. If I can pull this shit off I will be impressed with myself. I like JF as a person I just really do not want to share a house with him. And I think we are done with sex. I don't think he even misses it anyway.
I have wanted to have sex so much lately. I don't know when I can see D again. There are a lot of things that have to come together in order for us to make that arrangement. I keep thinking about him living with me and how different that will be. How I will need to be available to him but how nice will it be to have dick whenever I want it. I don't know how compatible we will be living together but the thought of not having a constant need to find dick in my life is really appealing. What will it be like not to have that monkey on my back. It will change my life.... I just hope it is in a good way.
When I first starting see D again after he was gone for a few years we first met at my house. He came in and almost instantly he put his hands on me and starting kissing my neck and undressing me. I can even remember the very place he put me on my knees and pushed his dick in my mouth. In my dining room right next the table where my family eats all of its meals he pushed me to the ground and climbed on top of me. I held my legs together with a pitiful plea to use a condom. I really wanted him to where a condom. I was 5 months pregnant and I had not seen him in like 4 years. But I remember the struggle and I fought and lost and he pressed himself into my body and I relaxed into it. I wanted him to own me. Oh how I needed to be taken.
And it is all back all the scary thoughts of a random stranger coming to fuck me. I do miss the strange dick. They all feel so different, which always surprises me. You would think at some point that it would all create the same sensation but no. I guess in the same way all women feel different.....
JF and I continue to move away from each other. In a perfect world I just want him to be in my life to raise these kids and have D sleep with me. If I can pull this shit off I will be impressed with myself. I like JF as a person I just really do not want to share a house with him. And I think we are done with sex. I don't think he even misses it anyway.
I have wanted to have sex so much lately. I don't know when I can see D again. There are a lot of things that have to come together in order for us to make that arrangement. I keep thinking about him living with me and how different that will be. How I will need to be available to him but how nice will it be to have dick whenever I want it. I don't know how compatible we will be living together but the thought of not having a constant need to find dick in my life is really appealing. What will it be like not to have that monkey on my back. It will change my life.... I just hope it is in a good way.
Wednesday, June 17, 2020
Request
I actually asked for something today when I saw D. I almost never ask for something. Primarly because I don't need to because he provides me with all the pleasure I need but he seems to know what I need. But today I wanted to feel stretched and I asked him to fist me. This is something that I really enjoy sometimes I have to be in the right mood. I was. He jumped up put his dick in my mouth and his fingers in my pussy. It was what I needed. Today was a day that I would have made a great submissive girl. My pain tolerance was high my desire to be dirty was high. I wanted my pussy to hurt I wanted D to leave bruises on my body.
The session started with the typical me sucking his dick, but instead of of his usually climbing on top of me he had me on my knees and before I knew it he was trying to fuck my ass. Now I already knew this needed to happen as it did not happen last time and he wants that but for some reason when I am on my knees I just can not do it. It just never works, but D pressed on and before I knew I was face down in the bed with his dick in my ass crying real tears. Now I never cry real tears like this. This was some crying crying. I felt myself start to cry and I took that as an opportunity to really just let go and cry and it was delightful. I liked feeling completely as his mercy. I was the feeling owned part that I so miss. After a minute he relented and we went back to our dance. It was glorious to have his arm wrapped around my neck hold me tight with fresh tears trickling down my face while he fucked me.
The whole time we were fucking there were people outside of the room. I could hear them talking so I know they could hear me moaning.
I sat down to write this morning because I though I had some alone time. My thought are disorgnanized as now every one of these kids needs something from me and I am forced back in to my very vanilla life.
The session started with the typical me sucking his dick, but instead of of his usually climbing on top of me he had me on my knees and before I knew it he was trying to fuck my ass. Now I already knew this needed to happen as it did not happen last time and he wants that but for some reason when I am on my knees I just can not do it. It just never works, but D pressed on and before I knew I was face down in the bed with his dick in my ass crying real tears. Now I never cry real tears like this. This was some crying crying. I felt myself start to cry and I took that as an opportunity to really just let go and cry and it was delightful. I liked feeling completely as his mercy. I was the feeling owned part that I so miss. After a minute he relented and we went back to our dance. It was glorious to have his arm wrapped around my neck hold me tight with fresh tears trickling down my face while he fucked me.
The whole time we were fucking there were people outside of the room. I could hear them talking so I know they could hear me moaning.
I sat down to write this morning because I though I had some alone time. My thought are disorgnanized as now every one of these kids needs something from me and I am forced back in to my very vanilla life.
Sunday, June 14, 2020
Unresolved Anger
I have some unresolved anger today. I hear it in my voice when I speak. I am aggravated and its only 10am. JF and I have agreed that he will live in our house for the next 2-3 months before he travels again and then when he is done traveling he will look for a place to live. He is being an asshole and for some reason I want a partner in this separation as I much as I wanted a partner in our relationship. I am not getting it. Surprise Surprise. I don't think he even understands what it is I am looking for or maybe he just is not capable of doing what I need. He is very spiritual and is very much about taking the path or least resistance, but that works maybe as a single person but as a father of two do you not have to sacrifice for your children? Isn't that what people do, it is insticnt for christ sake. He views himself as a great father. I used to view him like that but now he is just a sperm donor getting in my way and not helping to pay for any of these bills.
I think I have resolved the end of our relationship in my mind and heart. I just now struggle with the children not having daily access to their father. They don't see him everyday now because he is just never here but most days they see him for like five minutes. Its not much but at least he is there... If it was not about my children I would have ended this a long time ago. When I told him he could stay here, in the basement, until he travels I was clear to add this does not mean we are together. He stated " you can have sex with whoever you want" which I thought was so out of place. This has been a little bit about sex but not completely, but it felt good to get that out on the table. There it was the confirmation that I would be having sex with someone other then him and that would almost seal the fate of our relationship. There is a small small part of me that realizes that he too can have sex with anyone he wants and the sickening heat I feel in my throat as I think of that. It does not feel natural to me to think of him with another woman, but I know there will be if it has not happened already.
For me I will see D tomorrow. I hope get some conversation in. I want to talk about what he thinks about "us" but I don't want to force it. I feel like this is the only time an actual relationship is possible between us but I don't know if that is what he wants. I think we will continue to be what we are and just possible spend a little more time together. Maybe. Or maybe I will still only see him once a month and my nights in my bed will be lonely and sad. I sometimes think to myself if D was here what would I be doing. Or can I really handle the sex drive, his that is? I wonder if that is why his marriage fell apart. Although part of me knows I have to had been a big part of his marriage falling apart as he was when my first marriage fell apart.
But if D and I are not together then I will want to look for a new man. I want a relationship. I want a partner in life I want sex in my own bed at night. But if I am in a relationship it is back to cheating on people and seeing D when I can and never giving a relationship the attention it deserves. Its a catch 22. And I think I will never have what I really want... which is D as my partner, in the true sense of the word. I want a connection with someone that I know they have my back when I need it and vice versa. I want to feel loved and wanted and protected. All in all I feel like a child who is just looking for safety net. SMH. I know I need therapy.
The neighbors are getting some work done in their house. They have 3 black men from North Jersey he working. I know where they are from because she mentioned that they would be here. So naturally I can only think about a sexual encounter with them. I wonder if they can feel what I am thinking? Sometimes I feel like my energy just gives off sexual energy.
I think I have resolved the end of our relationship in my mind and heart. I just now struggle with the children not having daily access to their father. They don't see him everyday now because he is just never here but most days they see him for like five minutes. Its not much but at least he is there... If it was not about my children I would have ended this a long time ago. When I told him he could stay here, in the basement, until he travels I was clear to add this does not mean we are together. He stated " you can have sex with whoever you want" which I thought was so out of place. This has been a little bit about sex but not completely, but it felt good to get that out on the table. There it was the confirmation that I would be having sex with someone other then him and that would almost seal the fate of our relationship. There is a small small part of me that realizes that he too can have sex with anyone he wants and the sickening heat I feel in my throat as I think of that. It does not feel natural to me to think of him with another woman, but I know there will be if it has not happened already.
For me I will see D tomorrow. I hope get some conversation in. I want to talk about what he thinks about "us" but I don't want to force it. I feel like this is the only time an actual relationship is possible between us but I don't know if that is what he wants. I think we will continue to be what we are and just possible spend a little more time together. Maybe. Or maybe I will still only see him once a month and my nights in my bed will be lonely and sad. I sometimes think to myself if D was here what would I be doing. Or can I really handle the sex drive, his that is? I wonder if that is why his marriage fell apart. Although part of me knows I have to had been a big part of his marriage falling apart as he was when my first marriage fell apart.
But if D and I are not together then I will want to look for a new man. I want a relationship. I want a partner in life I want sex in my own bed at night. But if I am in a relationship it is back to cheating on people and seeing D when I can and never giving a relationship the attention it deserves. Its a catch 22. And I think I will never have what I really want... which is D as my partner, in the true sense of the word. I want a connection with someone that I know they have my back when I need it and vice versa. I want to feel loved and wanted and protected. All in all I feel like a child who is just looking for safety net. SMH. I know I need therapy.
The neighbors are getting some work done in their house. They have 3 black men from North Jersey he working. I know where they are from because she mentioned that they would be here. So naturally I can only think about a sexual encounter with them. I wonder if they can feel what I am thinking? Sometimes I feel like my energy just gives off sexual energy.
Monday, June 8, 2020
Will you just love me forever....
I felt emotionally lighter today. I woke up at 5, baked some muffins for my children and started work at 7am. I was killing it today. Grief for a time took a leave and freedom sunk in. Oh sweet freedom. My conversations with my friend about the gritty details of my sexual past have awakened a part of me that I thought that I was ok with leaving behind. I did not feel a need for that kind of sex when I was in the good part of my relationship with JF. When I thought about 16 men fucking me in one night I would say that I was sickened. However in recent days it makes me feel like maybe that is a part of me I was not ready to give up, or rather that I should not haven given up. Sex is a form of expression. Just as this blog is, just as I viewed my submissive persona, it is all a form of expression. Without this outlet I feel like maybe I had no outlet. So maybe I tried to go vanilla and it just did not work.
I think about JF and I do love him. I am not in love with him but I love him. He is an amazing person but not an amazing man for me. I talked with him today about our relationship and he just gives me nothing. He has not once since he left said that he loved me or that he wanted to work things out. He just says "you said you do not want me so what can I do"? It is maddening. I have told him on so many occasions that I need validation. I need to be told that I am loved and I need that reaffirmed. I don't need gifts, I don't need endless amount of time together, but I need sex and I need to be treated like a woman. I don't know exactly what treated like a woman means but its something along the lines of when you hug me you smack my ass, and kiss my neck. And you also tell me I am a good mother and I am a good wife and you reaffirm that I am making you happy. The submissive nature is always there. It just looks different.
I am still so struck that the kids may not see their Dad often as then should, but I am left with if I continue this misery I live in that my children will never see the joy they bring me. I am tired but I am in love with them and should see me happy sometimes. At dinner we always talk about the rose (best part of our day), the thorn (the worst part of our day) and the bud (new exciting things we are waiting for). I can not tell you how long it has been since I have felt a rose. I often have trouble coming up with one positive thing for the day. Today it was I was so busy with work today I did not have time to think about anything else. My daughter said "that is your rose" in disbelief. I shook my head. It really was that best part of my day but damm it really should not be.
D called me today, to check in on me he said. We talked for a little while about separation, kids and his last straw with his wife. Is it too soon to ask him to move in? I joke but life would be easier if I could jump from one relationship to the next without missing a beat. I feel like I am one bad day away from asking D if he will love me forever... Im trying to control myself.
Im trying to keep my eyes open to the fact that D maybe in my life or may not be in my life and not make choices based on that, but in truth I feel like it might be swaying me a little. Im just so tired of not having sex. Like if nothing else the not having sex is enough to make me call it quits. I did think about today maybe JF would be into an open relationship. But that is not what I want. I want to lay in my bed at night and feel his hands on my ass as we are both semi-sleeping but our bodies move closer to each other and we end up fucking even before our minds our fully with us. This was the BEST part of the sleepovers we have had. I am 41 fucking years old and I have had very little sex in my own home with my partner. Im just so exhausted with it.
If at the end of my life if I have spent my whole adult life chasing this dream of having the luxury of a sexual relationship in my house then I will be pissed. It sound trivial but I feel like I have so many other things in my life but this golden ring is out of my reach. And it not just sex it all the emotional things that come with it, for me anyway. A feeling of being desired, being loved, giving to someone else and the stress relief that come with it. I never feel more content and more owned then when D is in me, or even JF, it is /was such a mind fuck to look at this man who is in your body and giving you so much pleasure.
It sounds so much like I am obsessed with sex but if I am having sex regularly then my mind is so free to do so many other things. Your only hungry when you don't eat, but if your eating regularly your mind does not become consumed with food. It the same thing basically ;)
I think about JF and I do love him. I am not in love with him but I love him. He is an amazing person but not an amazing man for me. I talked with him today about our relationship and he just gives me nothing. He has not once since he left said that he loved me or that he wanted to work things out. He just says "you said you do not want me so what can I do"? It is maddening. I have told him on so many occasions that I need validation. I need to be told that I am loved and I need that reaffirmed. I don't need gifts, I don't need endless amount of time together, but I need sex and I need to be treated like a woman. I don't know exactly what treated like a woman means but its something along the lines of when you hug me you smack my ass, and kiss my neck. And you also tell me I am a good mother and I am a good wife and you reaffirm that I am making you happy. The submissive nature is always there. It just looks different.
I am still so struck that the kids may not see their Dad often as then should, but I am left with if I continue this misery I live in that my children will never see the joy they bring me. I am tired but I am in love with them and should see me happy sometimes. At dinner we always talk about the rose (best part of our day), the thorn (the worst part of our day) and the bud (new exciting things we are waiting for). I can not tell you how long it has been since I have felt a rose. I often have trouble coming up with one positive thing for the day. Today it was I was so busy with work today I did not have time to think about anything else. My daughter said "that is your rose" in disbelief. I shook my head. It really was that best part of my day but damm it really should not be.
D called me today, to check in on me he said. We talked for a little while about separation, kids and his last straw with his wife. Is it too soon to ask him to move in? I joke but life would be easier if I could jump from one relationship to the next without missing a beat. I feel like I am one bad day away from asking D if he will love me forever... Im trying to control myself.
Im trying to keep my eyes open to the fact that D maybe in my life or may not be in my life and not make choices based on that, but in truth I feel like it might be swaying me a little. Im just so tired of not having sex. Like if nothing else the not having sex is enough to make me call it quits. I did think about today maybe JF would be into an open relationship. But that is not what I want. I want to lay in my bed at night and feel his hands on my ass as we are both semi-sleeping but our bodies move closer to each other and we end up fucking even before our minds our fully with us. This was the BEST part of the sleepovers we have had. I am 41 fucking years old and I have had very little sex in my own home with my partner. Im just so exhausted with it.
If at the end of my life if I have spent my whole adult life chasing this dream of having the luxury of a sexual relationship in my house then I will be pissed. It sound trivial but I feel like I have so many other things in my life but this golden ring is out of my reach. And it not just sex it all the emotional things that come with it, for me anyway. A feeling of being desired, being loved, giving to someone else and the stress relief that come with it. I never feel more content and more owned then when D is in me, or even JF, it is /was such a mind fuck to look at this man who is in your body and giving you so much pleasure.
It sounds so much like I am obsessed with sex but if I am having sex regularly then my mind is so free to do so many other things. Your only hungry when you don't eat, but if your eating regularly your mind does not become consumed with food. It the same thing basically ;)
Sunday, June 7, 2020
Did I just say that?
It has been a few hard days. I have been grieving for a loss of a relationship that I was 100% committed to when it started and when I had kids. I felt like he was my forever person. I love him and I am mourning the loss of our family times and my kids have daily access to their father. I am sad that I thought we would grow together and we just grew apart. We have talked a little via text but not much. I wish he would say "I agree with you that our relationship is not working" or " I don't want our relationship to end". Either response would satisfy me, but just say something. He says nothing. I feel like he just does not care but logically I think that can't be it. He is probably just letting me think about things and cool off. And he will go with no fight if I tell him to go. I don't know if he would come back if I asked, but right now that is off the table.
I have went from sadness to anger. Then last night it moved to independence and a feeling of I wanna fuck right now. I want to just fuck away the stress. I want to forget my name. Forget the drama, forget how to speak, lay in the bed and have my body dicked down gang bang style.
My friend and I were talking last night about D. About the specifics of having sex with D. The size of the dick, the length of the dick and the way this man can fuck me for 3 hours of almost non stop fucking. It made me so satisfied to talk about him openly and share his many talents. It made me happy because being single means I can see D more often. Maybe not as much as I want but more often. I can have D be in my life as something other then the black man I follow into the motel room. He can like be in my house and there during the day. He can be something I don't have to hide. All those things perked me up and made me feel more sure that JF and I have come to an end. As hard as I did try I still could not make relationship work in the end.
Fast forward my girlfriend and I are sitting outside talking and I did not know how things came up, but so much came up. We talked about swingers clubs, BDSM, and gang bangs. I admitted to a women that I have had a gang bang. She laughed and said you could call it an orgy, but that is not what it was. It was an all black gang bang just for me and it was one of the most amazing moments of my life. I miss it and I want to do again. Her response was that of true intrigue and I did not feel judged. I even mention the website that was up (not this one). I shared lots of dirty secrets. It was so freeing and really opened up a part of me that I felt like was gone. I love sex. I love sex with many people. I love it. I have been faithful to someone for the longest of 4 years. That is about it. One man does not seem like enough. Although D does seem to be enough, be he even likes the idea of gang bangs.
I don't know what will come in the next coming weeks. I have a lot of emotional work today. I have a lot fo guilt to shed. However I feel like I have been taking care of my kids non stop for 13 years now. I have had so very little time to myself after the 2nd came and the 3rd came and all hope of me having a life dwindle to oblivion. But GOD DAMMIT I deserve something in their life they like to do. Some people like to canoe, some people like yoga. I like to fuck, its my thing. It makes me alive, it relaxes me, it make ms a better person. I know for sure I could parent better if I was getting dick every night. I would not be so fucking tense.
So better days to come. I hope there will be some clarity in my life. soon but I am excited to be single again. That comes with a lot of possibilities.
I have went from sadness to anger. Then last night it moved to independence and a feeling of I wanna fuck right now. I want to just fuck away the stress. I want to forget my name. Forget the drama, forget how to speak, lay in the bed and have my body dicked down gang bang style.
My friend and I were talking last night about D. About the specifics of having sex with D. The size of the dick, the length of the dick and the way this man can fuck me for 3 hours of almost non stop fucking. It made me so satisfied to talk about him openly and share his many talents. It made me happy because being single means I can see D more often. Maybe not as much as I want but more often. I can have D be in my life as something other then the black man I follow into the motel room. He can like be in my house and there during the day. He can be something I don't have to hide. All those things perked me up and made me feel more sure that JF and I have come to an end. As hard as I did try I still could not make relationship work in the end.
Fast forward my girlfriend and I are sitting outside talking and I did not know how things came up, but so much came up. We talked about swingers clubs, BDSM, and gang bangs. I admitted to a women that I have had a gang bang. She laughed and said you could call it an orgy, but that is not what it was. It was an all black gang bang just for me and it was one of the most amazing moments of my life. I miss it and I want to do again. Her response was that of true intrigue and I did not feel judged. I even mention the website that was up (not this one). I shared lots of dirty secrets. It was so freeing and really opened up a part of me that I felt like was gone. I love sex. I love sex with many people. I love it. I have been faithful to someone for the longest of 4 years. That is about it. One man does not seem like enough. Although D does seem to be enough, be he even likes the idea of gang bangs.
I don't know what will come in the next coming weeks. I have a lot of emotional work today. I have a lot fo guilt to shed. However I feel like I have been taking care of my kids non stop for 13 years now. I have had so very little time to myself after the 2nd came and the 3rd came and all hope of me having a life dwindle to oblivion. But GOD DAMMIT I deserve something in their life they like to do. Some people like to canoe, some people like yoga. I like to fuck, its my thing. It makes me alive, it relaxes me, it make ms a better person. I know for sure I could parent better if I was getting dick every night. I would not be so fucking tense.
So better days to come. I hope there will be some clarity in my life. soon but I am excited to be single again. That comes with a lot of possibilities.
Wednesday, June 3, 2020
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