D and I have been not talking for the last week or so. For me I felt like things were fine and we were just not checking in. I was cool with it because I am so miserable lately I was cool with it. He then calls me to see if he should come down Sunday, (today). I dont instantly want him to. And I get the sense he felt the same way, but I knew I would have my period soon and then it would be like 2 weeks before I could get some dick and it has been two weeks already so today was like preemptive dick. This was strictly dick that was meant to tamp down the hormonal cravings that I know will come in the next few days.
He came about 11am. I was in a good mood. My house was clean, I had some energy but I did not want to spend the entire day in my room with him. Anyhow we go upstairs. We get naked and talk for a minute. And immediately I get frustrated. I want to lay on my stomach and suck his dick because it is comfortable and I feel like I can focus on the dick and do it better. He wants me on my knees so he can play with my pussy. Now this may sound surprising for a girl who likes a gang bang but I dont like to do two things at once. I want to be receiving pleasure or giving pleasure but not at the same time. I dont like it. It makes me pissed and frankly I sucked his dick half heartedly and it was his own fault.
We fuck. I dont remember even the position. Maybe we started in missionary but I dont love that sometimes when I am really craving a good fuck. I just want it from the back. I tell him I want it from the back and we move into it and it is good. He is fucking me hard and his balls are slapping on my clit and it feels good but I want it to hurt just a little bit. I want to struggle to take it. I dont want to be pushing myself onto trying to get it as deep as possible. The dick is not as hard as I like it. It is to me obviously not that hard. Last time I saw him is was rock hard! But today it was just eh. It was good enough he came. We fucked like 2 more times. The dick never rose like I wanted it to.
We went downstairs, I made lunch and we eventually made it back upstairs. He goes to fuck me and his dick is not hard, I would say it is in a frustrating state of mediocrity and the whole time he is fucking me I keep telling myself just get through this and you will be done. I was sure he would not want to keep fucking all afternoon with this situation. I was wrong.
After that fuck. I started to get miserable. I told him I did not want to fuck anymore because my pussy was sore, which was half right. I had some stinging from some friction but more accurately I had to stop feeling like this man was fucking me with a semi hard dick. In my head I was like just please stop. Then I would try to make him cum it was exhausting. When I say that I am done, he takes that like a personal challenge and wants to exercise his power over me. What can I do. We fuck another two time. I came today but not every time we fucked. I think I only came the first time.
We were talking and I was telling him that I was feeling aggravated. He asks why and I tell him that my leg was in pain from my sciatic problem and I was having pms. He rolls his eyes because according to him pms is not a thing. I have actually been diagnosed with PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) and him acting like it is nothing is infuriating to me. I dont say much. I feel like he is so dumb in this moment that I should not even waste my breath talking to this idiot.
He goes to leave and I give him a hug and it felt really good, I pull him back and hug him again. I also enjoyed the moments laying with him in bed with my head on his arm and my ass pressed up against his hip, our legs entangled and me hugging my blanket on the other side. This part felt good to me.
Overall, I was sorry I wasted my day off on this. I feel frustrated and I am questioning all of my life choices at this point. In case you missed it from my tone, I am having some severe pms this month. It has been a hellish couple of days. My plan for the week is to put my head down and just keep moving along.