Sunday, June 8, 2025

Sex & Money

 I broke the spell of celibacy. It all started the other day when the neighbor was walking by my house and he looked good to me. Which was weird to me that I feel like that because he is not someone I would typically be attracted to but I wanted him in that moment. And since that moment I was a little more open to having sex. And as the universe always does, it sent some dick my way. The guy I call cone dick reached out. I have not seen him in maybe 6 months. I happened to have the house free on the middle of a Saturday afternoon and the plan was set. I did tell him that I would need to confirm the day of because my feelings have been fleeting lately. He did not confirm he just came over. I was so nervous! It was insane. He looked good to me. Frankly I have been seeing him for I think 3 years now and I could not pick him out of a crowd if I needed to. So each time it seems to be a surprise. lol. I do like him all the way around. I feel like we have very similar values in terms of raising our children, careers, life in general. And I like how he fucks. 

We always start from the back and it was only a few minutes or seconds before I was fucking him and inching my knees forward some my pussy could get more of the dick. It was really good. He tells me to flip over and he fucks me without a condom for the first time. This made such a big difference for me. I dont look at him at all. I feel myself intentionally not looking at him but I do not know why I could not look at him. He did finally come in me. He is one of these men who come and you can feel it intensely. It made me come. It was really good. We laid in the bed for a few minutes talking. Not touching really just laying there parallel to each other with his hand resting on my my ass. We both almost fell asleep and then it was time to wrap it up. 

It was a great re-introduction to sex. It was the perfect amount of time and I cant say anything bad about it. And it was nice. I did not feel the submission desire as I do or did, but it was ok. 

Part of my nervousness was not wanting to devote the time to having sex. In my head I am calculating how much it will cost me to fuck for an hour, when I could be working. I feel like I have been hyper focused on money in the last few months. It is like I traded my sex addiction for my financial goals.