I had the need to go up to New Brunswick the other day. And as I took the trip up the turnpike my body was feeling all the feels and my mind was mulling over all the times I have taken this drive over the years to see D. I have not thought about D is awhile. He is not really in the forefront of my mind most days but this day I could not escape the thoughts of him. So much so I almost called him while I was making that trip up there. My friend talked me out of it, thank god. But I was so close to begging this man to tell me what happened and to have the closure conversation with him. But to be so clear I would 100% see him again if given the chance. I really need closure on D but I fear I will never have it.
I am in my busy season for work. I work a temp job that pays really well but only last about 6-10 weeks. So Im working 3 jobs right now and have no time for anything but there is a peace in taking care of what I need to. And intense peaceful energy fills me the power I need to get through this and knowing that I dont need a man to take care of my life makes me feel powerful.
I am tired but I am happy.
I still continue to talk to Ds brother. That is moving a long. No real news on that, but I am still exploring a relationship with him.
Sex drive still is at a 1.5 out of 10.... so no change there.:(
